Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
NoShamevember. You game?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
