Quick, to the slutcave!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
As shirtless as possible
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Terrible idea I love it
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
