She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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