When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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