i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
