I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
