Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
