That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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