Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize