i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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