Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
