bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
