Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
