who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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