i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Dick very happy bro
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
