Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
