think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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