can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
