I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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