Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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