Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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