some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
