Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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