Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
3pm strippers are depressing
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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