areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
