time to smoke my breakfast
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
