i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
