Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
cat food counts as protein by the way
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
