Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I believe in your delicious
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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