Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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