And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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