the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
