Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
