their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
