I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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