is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
