They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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