I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
