he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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