I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
