I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
