Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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