i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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