Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
