Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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