dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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