remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
