I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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