Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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