So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
