he wants to bone in the snuggie
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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