32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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