she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
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