He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
