Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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