even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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