An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
