I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
