im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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