How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
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