I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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