Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
