Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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