Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My ass is underappreciated
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
