So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
